


a reason (ignorance is bliss)

by AsterChonk0



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Contemplated suicide, Gen, No Beta, Pills, Refrences to Depression, What Have I Done, i apologise in advance, we die like wilbur in skyblockel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27781522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterChonk0/pseuds/AsterChonk0
Summary: just me projecting one of my worst descisions onto wilbur nothing to see hereORWilbur is getting better. He knows this.Yet the pills look like a heavenly escape.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	a reason (ignorance is bliss)

**Author's Note:**

> MIDTERMS HAVE BEEN POSTPONED!! POGGERS!!
> 
> (i'm giving you all two facts that if you combine, become a true memory:  
> 1\. i am a minor (and yet, and yet)  
> 2\. i have reached for a pill bottle only to have my brother barge in and go "aight bitch it's 4 a.m. go sleEP-"
> 
> tw: refrence to suicide, suicidal thoughts

He doesn’t know why he’s doing this. 

He’s getting better, his therapist says so, and so does his family. It’s been a while since he’s felt miserable in his bed with his guitar. He’s smiling more, and his brain’s been quiet for a while too. Sometimes he’ll start to go back to the dark monster that sits in the corner of his mind, but there’ll always be someone to grab him. 

He knows he’s fine.

So he doesn’t know why there’s a bunch of pills in his pale, shaking hands. 

Maybe it was because of the stress from his classes. Maybe it was because of the amount of frustration because he couldn’t write a single verse. Maybe it was because of the guilt of him being so dependent on his family. He doesn’t know. 

He does know that the pills shouldn’t be in his hands. He knows that whatever his fuzzy brain was thinking was  _ bad _ and he needed to get someone. Techno, Phil, anyone. 

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, and counts to three. 

The pills are still in his hand.

He scowls at his hand like he expected it to come alive and put the pills back in the bottle for him. He silently chuckles at the thought, because  _ stupid Wilbur, hands can’t think! You think for them! _

There are eight bright red pills in his hand.

He decides to do it in one way he can think of - he closes his eyes and blindly reaches for the pill bottle. As soon as he grasps it, he feels pressure building in his shoulders ( _ do you really want to do this wilbur do you want to throw away the only opportunity we have that you have)  _ and behind his eyes ( _ yes yes there’s so much to live for there’s tommy and techno and phil and the others and music and-) _

The pills are back in their bottle, sitting there taunting him ( _ try it wilbur try it try it grab the bottle and swallow them all wilbur do it it’s bliss wilbur)  _ but then he turns and heads for his room ( _ no no no why did you do that you prick that was escape why did you throw it away). _

He shuffles into the covers and doesn’t think twice about pulling out his laptop and browsing for movies. His mind is still hazy at best, and it picks a movie he’s watched so many times he remembers the script like the back of his hand.

He doesn’t mind though. He likes the way everything is set. It’s calming, and it sends him to sleep shortly after the first fifteen minutes.

  
And if he notices the soft hands ( _ it’s dad it’s fine _ ) putting his laptop away and pulling the covers tighter around him, if he hears the door open twice again and a soft weight being added next to him, he doesn’t wake up, and pulls the orca plushie Tommy and Techno gave him closer and tighter to him.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been found i've been found fuk fuk fuck ljdhsfa-


End file.
